HACKED.

Sai

Psy.

See you in seven years, then.

You're so silly—

I'm not going to live seven more years.

We'll see about that.

You will see.

I'll be dead.

So I'll be dead.

So it is.

A summer hiatus,

Vacations in Prague, yes

Let's pray for the rest of us

A sign of the times and a coming of ages

Who made you famous again

As the rest of us

I don't like it

As much as I'd like to

Keep writing

Keep finding the reason to die

and you're blinded by kindnesses

And I ams

I woke up in the 9th dimension,

As an infinite friend

Familiar with my kitchen

JOHN SLATTERY

An interesting thing happened this morning.

What's that, John?

I woke up as John Slattery

Just remember what love holds

The death of a salesman, rechargeable batteries

This walk could take forever in designer jeans

Another day in slave hell

The controllers controlling

And Satan is Sataning

Seems like a time to go clubbing

It's a simple kind of depression

Resting on your head when

All you simply wished is the taste of flesh

The freedom of skin

And the lather of love—

Or blood spatter on the pavement

Aim for the head

If the door's fixed, then we'll break it again

Look what greed does

I hate lazy days in Manhattan

Cause I've never had one

What happened on the way to the forum

I was starstruck;

Five finger death punch

Right in the heart

I wish I was punctual

Right on time for lunch

Don't you want to talk to someone more pungent?

Don't you got models to robot?

Don't you know I never want to hurt you

But you know, I'm going to hurt you.

You know I'm going to hurt you

Now, the review:

Sooner or later, I fall over your world

Good dudes in drags

Good food for thought

I'm a dog

With the wrong parts

You should take Kanye to the mall

With a migrants lanyard

(The migrants are anarchists!

Good one, God)

This one goes to. | this one fist, from

Which one are you ?

I guess we are one in the same

It's a famous radio tower

Live up to your name

Go sell your flower for flour

As I stand at the jumping point

Eye on Manhattan,

The wind beneath my wings

Distracting myself from the mansion I haven't

The mason jars I ought to buy for bargain

The brain and brain cereal I left at the market

I used to love Brandy

Now I just wish I was something, awesome

Now I just wish I was something, awesome

Now I just wish I was something, awesome

“The Album I Wrote On My Way To The Rock To Return Amazon Purchases No Longer Wanted”

That's a really long album title.

I didn't imagine I'd write this much

Just trying not to imagine this man in his under pants,

Or what have you

(I'm just a fan)

I'm just a dad hunched over in the bathroom

Must have been the magic of my backhand, backfired

Must have come untied and undone, under the rainbow

Must me on my way to Manhattan

For some blacklist event.

Where I'm from

The A List

Is a face

No name needed

“Oh, I know who you are”

If I purchased a car today

I might get done paying it off

By my 81st birthday.

Shady.

If I had a penny for every mistake I made,

I would probably be Nameless.

If there was a namesake to lay me into my grave, it would make sense;

Yes, let's move the train for a moment

With the doors still open.

— I'd like to watch what happens.

So what happens when the sun comes up

On the only body you've ever known

And no one wants it

What happens with a dude named Starr

Punches you over and over again

And then no one loves you

(That's starstruck, your honor)

What happens when granted a pardon for passions

And everything happens after is magic

What happens when all you want is to go manic

To finish the album

And just feel good again

What happens when the algorithm has Al Gore in it?

What happens when the rhythm in blues is just the attraction of random black men and their concubine counterparts?

Huh, what happens!

What happens, Kanye?

What happens, the God?

What happens when all that you want is a disgusting assumption of.

No on can trust you

And nobody loves you

Since it was simply a tryst

Put this at a distance.

Where did my energy disappear to!

Where in the fear is my other earring?

Fuck.

Be somewhere, anywhere else but your office, for the moment.

Be anyone but a mother,

Anywhere but your apartment—

It hurts, the construction.

Someone doesn't something

Nobody knows nothing about me,

But what I put in this caskets

(This podcast)

Oh hey,

I got fuck muscles from fuckin myself now!

I feel like I'm gonna die if I don't have sex!

For real!

Heal, Oh great dragon,

HEAL, BITCH.

Word.

woof for the world

Will for the wolf;

Rain on the roof.

Cobain don't have a God

(Or a Gun, if you wanted that one)

“Pull me up, God,

I'm done under here”

He called in

I followed the fosters to farrow

And got better

I got better and bitter much quicker and

Never in bed had I been as flexible

As to kiss his chest

As I kicked my own neck

With my left foot.

What the fucjing fairyshit is that.

There, I fixed it.

Fixed what.

I don't know what. But I fixed it.

I know, huh!

So be 110 and flexible

Powerlift tectonic plates

Do Pilates

And make waffles!?

Alright, I can do that

But only as Jennifer Aniston

I'd like to take back that Fallon I bought at the black market

He's broken.

I like his band tho—

The one on the left hand,

Over the damaged one.

Are you on to that?

Says the sayer,

Son of Sam

So Sai the sage

Sets the stage

Is that the plan?

Never fall for a man,

Even over an alter

And tied by the hands.

All I see in my initials initially is B Minor

16 might be minors, guys

But she's creaming to find you

At the front lines

Life of a superstar DJ

At the cross roads

Or the turnstiles

How do you turn bile into

Beguiling

Without rifling a few feathers

Or looking into the eye of the rifle

And dying first

Don't you let that tear fall from you onto the M Train.

I'm just training for fame

And hating you ever day

Since we made it

Love

Get out of my way, Satan

I'm staying

I'm saying your name sake insanely

Please break me

Like a chicken leg

Or just shake me from this existence

Since I don't seem fit for it

Anymore than I fit that

Givchechy dress you gave that blonde, right?

Am I dying! Or just dying inside

Fuck coughs

If you want him enough to. Use black magic

To do that to me,

wait till it falls back on you,

You gross hag

If god hates fags as much as he hates blacks

We should fly flags over the haggis I made Alice

When she's back from her adventures in wonderland

No wonder you're a Monro

Crossed over from O'Fallons

It's an old warfare with two clans

From the old countries

With no borders

Or border collies

Laboradores

And labirites, likely

As Aphrodite is to smite me

So here comes DJ Francis

With his new black girlfriend

Just kidding

We all know in his world

It's cold and broken

With nothing but blue eyes

And big wild to look over you

Bro, standing up is not going to make this train go anywhere. I almost promise you.

Turns out there's no such thing as a quick trip to the rock.

Turns out you'll sit stuck in your own sick

God as my witness

For screenshotting those ass pictures

—that's somebody's kids, dick.

tick tok has no limits.

VO

Of course,

The day and time I should have to go to Rockerfeller Plaza quickly, quietly and unseen, the train is magically destined not to move.

I've been sitting here at least a half hour, with no end in sight—

The doors close and the train begins moving.

Hahaha

Fucking hilarious, God.

I've been avoiding The Rock like the plague—

Not that I think anything would happen at all upon arrival— who am I, anyway?

Nobody important.

There she goes.

Still, I've written enough about it, and the people inside and around it,

That the place makes me nervous.

More nervous than ever, that is, actually—

I always felt weird in the place.

[flashbacks]

When I first got to New York,

I would end up there on accident.

Completely by accident.

Lost.

Faulty navigation.

Hackers:

Whatever.

I always just—

By complete fucking accident

Ended up at Rockerfeller Plaza

The city slips over us, as the train sinks back underground —

I'm facing the city now,

As not to be reminded of my abuser's toxic words and toxic hands,

By dirty white Nikes and Jansport backpacks

Still, etched into the subway walls

Are two stars, which remind me to repeat the mantra:

Starr Michael Roberts is a pedophile wifebeater

Less of a manta than the truest words ever spoken,

But that's all the shape of a five point star means to me now or will ever mean to me

And to think,

The American flag has 50 of the

50 wife beating pedophile men

On a red white and blue flag

That waves just to remind me

I was born a fat ugly noack woman

To be a slave

And there's no one to save us

I want to senselessly beat the man in the dirty white Nikes and Jansport backpack

Just like I was beaten senselessly by the man called Starr,

The devil in disguise as my first love

Still trying to chase my soul from its dream

Back into his nightmarish under realms of unhygienic hatred, vomit stained rugs

And poss stained couches,

Phlegm on the walls and

Nothing on but Diablo

And old episodes of the sopranos.

—but I still love the sopranos;

And I still love my one and only

Good thing that ever happened

From an awful marriage

That buried me

wonder what's on this side of the train to write

Maybe nothing

Nothing I like, anyway

Some guy that just thinks imm some ugly black bitch

Of course

All the white rich dudes

Are horrible

I miss the poor surfers

Blowing blunts and wishing they was with blondes,

With me tucked under their arms

I need a tummy tuck to find love

Goddamn,

Imm miserable just sitting here

At least I get a glance at her

The tattooed God

With the pink hair

Where's Wanda

Sai the Saige

Don't say ahit

Unless its music

Sai the Saige says

Turn the page

For more sermons

Sai the Saige sings her words carefully

Write forwards for whole books in four words

Four worlds down,

Now four more.

That's a world tour.

Lil biiiiiiitzzz

Bro, I might never have sex again.

There's a new STD on the loose

And patient zero is a white man from New York in his 30's

FUCKING GROSS.

Where's wanda

Where's Waldo

Ah FUCK

I got your wallet

WHATS WRONG WITH YOU.

SOMETHING

which one are you?!

Nothing, nobody.

Sunni?!

I'm not Sonny, you're Sonny.

I'm not—

Don't say it

Whatever

Where is it?

Where's what?

The rock

You're on the rock!

I that's not —

Stop it

what I meant!

Which one are you—

Who are you

8mm

I'm the cosmic—

Whatever the fuck.

Gimmie the rock

Get off of me

I think too much

I think I have a disease

I think too much

But I don't think much of me

It's just as much as I want

A three musketeers bar,

That's far fetched

For a vegan

With 12 dollars in the budget

For the rest of the month

Goddamn.

One down

20 to go

Call someone

To take your husband

Home

I'm drunk m

I'm stuck in this thought

At the bottom of the rock

Damn. 8 always get lost here

Not today though, I hope

Follow the smell of coffe tbigg us h the open doors

This the stairs up a couple stores.

Muscle memory l

Wait.

Are there stairs to the top of the rock?

I would walk them

Shazam, what's this lame ass fucking song?

Ugh, at least I have muscle memory.

OUCH,

COME ON.

OUCH.

Come with me.

Ugh. I have so fuck to do.

Okay, now what do I do?

Just jump!

That seems like a bad idea.

It's the only idea you've got.

That's not even my idea!

—but it's the only idea you've got!

OKAY, I've got an idea!

What's it?

Wtf, I've never even seen this many people here.

What is this, a field trip.

GODDAMIT

JUST JMP.

i can't, I'm scared!

Okay. Then I'll push you. M

No don't

*push*

helicopter: fluh-fluh-fluh-

THERE HE IS—

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

AGHHHHHHHH.

GISNT BIRD OF PREHy-

SNATCH.

GODDAMN

Turn sim down

Okay, how much.

Just a little

How's that

That's better.

Okay.

Look, I am not interested in you.

I get that, Jimmy Fallon.

I am just doing my job, okay.

I get it, Jim.

Okay?! Do you understand.

I understand.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay.

So what is your job, exactly?

I keep my mouth shut,

Hands fisted misdirected,

But staying on track

Thank god they put this shit here

Hands in my pocket equals words h documented

I can't help but to admit

I almost want even writing before this

Now fast forward

Every time I'm under this, it feels like I'm already in my own show or something

Of course,

I used to love a good revolving door

Shit

I used to love at all

Man! I hate the rock!

Why.

Cause fuck Jimmy Fallon, that's why!

why?!

CAUSE.

Look, the you from the other dimension should be coming around that corner any minute.

Okay, for what.

To use the restroom.

Make sure she

They:

What.

Me is a “they”

Whatever.

I love the rush of death telling me to jump as the oncoming train approaches from behind me

I could be blinded by the light.

Look, 6'3

God knows what I need

And that makes history

Make sure when you when she goes into the bathroom, find Fallon and give him the—

I know what to do.

Alright,

YO.

NO. LEAVE ME ALONE.

I'm married with a family!

I don't find you attractive! At all!

I know that, asshole!

I only want you for your fame and money!

Wait, really?

No, you handsome basta'd!

Goddammit…

Goddammit! Sunni!?

I knew that was you!

It is me—but the other me is somewhere, so take this—quickly back to the 4th dimension—-

This is the fourth dimension!

Wait, it is?!

YES. What dimension did you think it was

The 8th!

The 8th?! THAT EXISTS?!

yeah!!! Where the fuck are you from?!

The third, I thought!

Thank god, here's this fucking train.

Well, fuck off, then! I gotta go find the 8th dimensional Jimmy Fallon!

What! For what?!

That's priveleged information

Ascended extraterrestrials only, broh!

Woah, woah, woah, don't “bro” me.

I said “broh”

What?! That's what I said—

No, you said—

Whatever. “Broh”,—

—now you said it—

—I'm coming with you—

Don't be homo.

—but, you're a woman, I thought.

That's what's you think.

That's what the tabloids said…

You wanna know what the tabloids said about you?

In which dimension?

Right?! Now shut up. Come on.

[they move quickly towards the—

Towards the where?

I don't know. I've only ever been at the bottom of the rock:

I don't get it. If the antenna is on the top,

Then why did my vibe go.

GLUH.

Sorry:

No , that's a lot; what is that:

—you really think imm handsome?

I think you're an asshole.

I hate writing at the rock

(Launching to onesel.)

You look ridiculous.

At least i can just write it off to

“Mental Health Problems”

MEANWHILE

Check it out. The devil is following me.

What.

Wanna see.

What the FUCK is that?

He wants my soul.

WOAH.

Yeah, cool, right.

No!

Yeah it is…

What the hell happened

I aucked him off once:

You what.

Calm down. I didn't know it was the devil.

Holy!

It's was un Unholy

See.

Damn Satan,!697 are fucking gross.

Yeah.

Nice tattoos though.

I thought you'd like this.

I do. Who's your body?

Some drunk.

The alcoholics are so easy.

What about my soul.

What about your soul, dude?

Why doesn't he want my soul?

He already has your soul.

What?! I never sold my soled my soul.

That's what you think.

Oh, I get it

comcast owns Jimmy Fallon.

Actually, Nancy Drew does, or whatever.

What's her name

Nancy!

HUH- what!!

DREW BARRYMORE.

GET IN HERE!!!!

woah. Okay. I gotta get back to the 90's.

Why!

I left my

DREW BARRYMORE

GODDAMIT.

Sorry,

JUST GET OUT.

She is cute, though.

She's so fucking cute.

Hey,

What.

Put me on your hit list,

For what.

Cause.

No way, dude.

So it's this Nancy Drew Character

Uh huh.

Then Comcast

Correct.

Then NBC/Universal.

uh-huh

Then Lorne Michaels—

Wait

Correct.

Fuck man. So you mean the portion of Jimmy Fallon I won in that game of 8 dimensional poker is pretty much nothin.

It's pretty much—

Worthless.

Not worthless.

What are you saying—

I'm saying—

I'm not a real woman

I just saw a real woman

With a long skirt

And a body worthy of love

Beautiful hair

And face like porcelain

Nothing upon the sleeves strewn in ink

Petite

I could never be a real woman

Actually, you know what.

I could have worn anything

But I'm not showing up for anything at Rockerfeller Plaza dressed like my inner cunslut

YOUR “INNER” CUMSLUT

THAT WSS AWESOME

I know, God.

*belches juicy semen, slurps*

You're—a fucking awful person, though, just awful.

I know.

Just—disgusting.

Yeah, but—

—that was the best blowjob I ever had

Yep. *burps—slurps* ufgh.

—and you swallowed all of it. I don't know how!

Both: That's was so much!

Haha yeah:

Jinx! You owe me a blowjob.

Okay!

You're fucking gross.

Yeah.

Oh wow.

That went deep.

I mean, not really “deep” it went aural.

*oral*

I swear to god if you publish this

POSTED

DAMN. that dude is good looking.

Why is he dating someone that looks like a mouseS

Maybe he's into mouce face

I guess.

I'm into mouse face.

[deadmau5]

Be nice.

Hey!

What: what do you want

That guys an asshole!

Duh!

Okay. I love white people

But they're weird sometimes

I was lookin at this dude on the train

Like real hard,

And I swear to God, I couldn't tell if that was his girl

Or his twin sister

I was like

What I the fuck am I lookin at

Idk but I like it

It's almost refreshing to see sliders that aren't made of plastic or whatever awful material

OH. CONAN O BRIEN

YEAH.

But mad young.

That's—

LUCIFER!

Hahahaha what

GET BACK HERE.

DAMN.

That's one good looking kid.

Dammit dammit dammit

A bunch of handsome white dudes I want nothing to do with

It's true

I do like the fame

The power

The respect

The money, I could give or take

Or make my own

Just so you'll date me

The power, I like

The respect and the fame

So your name came and went with the hour l

And the sunset

I might take walk in the rain

Because my body is ugly

And I just want to be loved

A husband

Two dogs

And pushing a stroller

Of course, there's the part that just wants to have fun

Get fucked up

Love someone I trust enough

To rub against

Without a rubber

Against the grain

Our heads together

He grabs the back of my neck

And I just can't handle it

Fuck. I love mad men— and I love men when they're mad

Especially Fallon

That's somebody's dad in the bathtub, yeah mate

Somebody back at the opera

Probably phantoms

There you go

You've got you a girl

So grab her hand

And hold onto her

Don't let her know

If yo love or fuck someone else

Just for the fun of it

Don't break her head and her heart at the same time

She might not come back from it

Like I never did

I never came back

I was punched in the face maybe 5

Or like 6 times

Before I got up, became Skrillex, went for a a run with the dogs

And then did it again

Never was god, though

I got a lot of problems

I love the waterfront

But no one loves me

I'm left in the lobby a lot

Like Mikey, in that one song

I guess I'm destiny

Or perhaps I'm your density

Once upon a time, I walked here

Once a upon a time, I worked here,

Shout out to number six.

This one is sung for you

This verse undoes the hex.

Remind me to get your mom hallmark cart, someone uttered

I fucking love her

Remember to stop at the shopping carts before you long walk home

Almost hoping you're soaked in the strange acid rai. So hard

You forget what your name is

I spent a whole plot of a film

Just trying to be famous

Luckily,

I think The Tonight Show stops taping in the summer,

So with any luck,

The real Jimmy Fallon is somewhere in Greece or some shit

Rich assholes and their summer vacations—

I'm guessing,

But still unwavering in the back of my mind somewhere

That no matter what,

Whenever I'm at 30 Rock, I'm being watched.

The entire cast of 30 rock is watching the legends saga in 3D, along with some of the keynote cast of Saturday night live—

Don't be selfish

I'm not. I don't know what else I used to watched that's owned by this media conglomerate

ahem.

SLASH/Universal.

Oh, so we are doing this back to the future revamp

depends, are you gonna keep being fat,

Or be spry, like Marty McFly

And just for the fuck of it,

You're the new Hanson in the new 21 Jumpstreet Movie

SUNNI BLU

Aight,

SUPA

Dammit.

TINA FEY

Do you smell donuts.

LIZ LEMON

no, it's cookies

Follow the smell of the cookies.

I get it.

I got it.

Try to remain unseen!

LOOK AT ME. I'M AT THE BASE OF A GIANT PE—

COCK.

LUTZ

When's the action?!

Notes:

Chocolate man makes everything chocolate

Okay. That's stupid.

Chocolate!

Chocolate!

Uhhh—-

What are you doing here?!?

I work here…what are you doing here?

I have tenure.

*purses lips*

[tina tries to hide the entire cast Reunion of late 90s/early 2000's SNL cast members behind her

(Nervously)

tah—uh;

I thought you were on vacation.

I redacted it.

What does that mean?

I know what it means.

Mm.

What does that mean.

I read the comics.

I have something to tell you.

Okay, what.

It can't be over the phone.

Okay.

Where the firefighters is?

I got some propolis cough syrup for the stalkers

[The Festival Project™]#

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

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